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Tuesday 30 November 2010

It's Great Being a Woman


 We can get rid of leg hair without pretending that we do a lot of cycling/swimming, or any other sport that would require aerodynamic legs.
When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it's sad.
We can use cosmetics should we wake up looking like something the cat dragged in.
We don't have to get our strength up between sessions. ... and it's much easier for us to get laid in the first place.
We can get off with teenagers without being called dirty old perverts.
We never ejaculate prematurely.
We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
We got off the Titanic first.
Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - they look like complete dicks in ours.
We have total control over our eyebrows.
We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mommy's boy.
We can cry and get off speeding fines.
The thrill of surprising people by being good at darts and pool... and football.
We live longer, so we can be cantankerous old biddies wearing appropriate clothes and shouting at strangers.
Men die earlier so we get to cash in on the life insurance.!!!!!!!!!!!
Taxis stop for us.
We get drunk quicker and cheaper.
We have no desire to arrange our possessions in alphabetical order. Ever.
We've never fancied a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
It does not enhance our social standing to understand the inner workings of a 'ruck' (or any other rugby thing). But we look INCREDIBLY cool if we do.
We never recognize ourselves in aspects of Mr. Bean. Ever.
We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

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