Tarzan, Lord of the Apes

 Tarzan's swinging through the jungle, minding his own business, when he gets captured by a tribe of natives. They decide to perform a blood sacrifice to their god, Lorenadapeni, and chop his unit off.
He, amazingly, survives through the ordeal. But now he no longer feels befitting of the title, the Lord of the Apes. So he swings through the jungle to see his old friend the witch doctor.
"What can I do ?!?!?!?!?!"
The witch doctor says, "don't worry Tarzan, I have this spare elephant trunk. We'll have you fixed up good as new."
So the witch doctor attaches the trunk to Tarzan, and casts a spell.
Tarzan wakes up with typical male morning dilemma, "ALRIGHT!!!! ," he says, "I like it!!" Off he swings through the jungle.
Two weeks later he returns to the witch doctor, for his post surgical routine checkup. "How's it hanging? Does it work alright?" asks the witch doctor.
Tarzan replies "It works great except for one thing."
"What's that?" the doctor inquires.
"If I swing to low to the ground, it keeps reaching down, grabbing grass, and shoving it up my ass."