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Wednesday 1 December 2010

Viagra 1 liner


The difference between Niagara and Viagra? Niagara Falls.

If a man overdoses on Viagra, how do they get the casket lid shut?

Men taking iron supplements are warned that taking Viagra may cause them to spin around and point north.

A man at the pharmacy to pick up his Viagra prescription exclaimed over the $10/pill price. His wife, who was with him, had a different opinion: "Oh, $40 a year isn't too bad."

If the insurance companies are going to set guidelines before approving Viagra coverage, what are they going to use? A growth chart?

Men are being warned not to take Viagra with nitrates after five gentlemen in India did so and changed the balance of power in the region.

I dropped a Viagra in a jar of small sweet pickles last night and this morning had a jar full of big Kosher dills.

How many doses of Viagra does it take to change a light bulb? One little tablet, and it's a whole new bulb.

If you're depressed and think you might need Viagra, see a professional. If that doesn't work, see a doctor!

If I give my computer monitor Viagra, will the screen get bigger?

For years the medical professional has been looking after the ill, to make them better. Now, with Viagra, they're raising the dead!

I would only take Viagra for intellectual purposes, so my head would swell.

Before Viagra, for some people, making love was classified as "assault with a dead weapon."

Viagra is now being compared to Disneyland - a one-hour wait for a 2-minute ride.

Viagra Falls, the new waterfall that flows upward.

Viagra, medicine's version of "MIRACLE-GRO."

Mix Viagra and Prozac and you have a guy who is ready to go, but doesn't really care where.

Are you taking Viagra or are you just happy to see me?

Rumor has it that when a truck carrying a load of Viagra slid off into the Ohio River, all the lift bridges suddenly went up.

If however you do need to take Viagra, remember to swallow them quickly otherwise you'll get a stiff neck.

A shipment of Viagra was highjacked today. Police have put out an All-Points bulletin: Be on the lookout for two hardened criminals! They will face a stiff sentence when convicted and they'll surely be sent to a Penal Institution.

A guy left his Viagra tabled in his shirt pocket when he sent it to the laundry. Now, his shirt is too stiff to wear.

Did you hear about Levi's new jeans for Baby Boomer men?.... They come with just a "Viagra" more room.

Newsweek's' comments on the trade name Microsoft(r) "Let's see... "Micro" and "Soft." Needs Viagra!"

The Viagra computer virus turns your floppy disk into a hard drive.
The Viagra Super virus then sucks all your data off the hard drive.

For women not-in-the-mood, California bars now have Viagra-free zones.

New plans are being made to raise the Titanic. Experts plan to pump it full of Viagra, and expect it to come right up.

Scientists developed the idea for Viagra after studying President Clinton's DNA.

Even so, we're told that the funeral home industry is happy about Viagra overdoses: Lots of new stiffs means an upswing in business.

We received the report today that it is no longer necessary to stake tomatoes. Just dissolve a Viagra tablet in the water and they stand up straight and tall.

Q. What happens if you get the Viagra pill stuck in your throat?
A. You get a stiff neck.
Q. What do you get when you mix Viagra with rogaine?
A. Don King.

Dan Quail does not support Viagra. Quote: "I've been using this stuff for a week and NOTHING! It's the worst suppository I've ever used."
Have you tried the new hot beverage, Viagraccino? One cup and you're up all night.

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