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==> SO UGLY,
when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras
her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
she made an onion cry.
when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . . . for a quote!
she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
she looks out the window and gets arrested!
even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
Ted Danson wouldn't date her!
for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
she turned Medusa to stone!
people go as her for Halloween.
she scares the roaches away.
I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow
she has to sneak up on a glass of water
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