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SO FAT,
when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
when people jog around her for exercise
when she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
when she was in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world
when she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
when she got to iron her pants on the driveway
when she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
when she steps on a talking scale and it told her to get off!!!
when she fell in love and broke it.
when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
when she's got her own area code!
when she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
when her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
when I had to take a train to get on her good side!
when she wakes up in sections!
when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
when she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!
when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
when she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
when that her senior picture had to be aerial view!
when every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
when she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
when she got hit by a parked car!
when they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
when she has to buy two airline tickets.
when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up.
when she influences the tides.
when that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
when the animals at the zoo feed her.
when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
when she stands in two time zones.
when you have to grease the door frame and hold at winkie on the other side just to get her through.
when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
when that she can't tie her own shoes.
when she sets off car alarms when she runs.
when she wears a Malcomn X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!
when the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....
that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.
when she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship
when to her, "light food" means under 4 tons
when she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!!!
when she was zoned for commercial development
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